How Far We Fall

How far we fall when we don't set our eyes to a stronger place than our mind's desire. 

How far we fall when we let the world consume our souls. 

How far we fall when we let depression seep into our corners of our heart and mind. 

How far we fall when we forget whom we belong to. 

How far have I come..?

It seems in the course of a year and a half, my life has brought me epic highs and astounding lows. 

From screaming out my Lord's name on the top of a mountain I had just climbed in Lima, Peru to screaming it out in vain and frustrating in the depths of my room. 

How weak am I that I don't want to take the step forward to pray more, to grow closer to God. How humanistic. 

To slide so far away. 

I am no Daniel, nor David, Ruth, Esther, or Mary. I am me, and I am far weaker than I tell others. 

I am not perfect and I have failed. 

I've gone, for just over a year now, feeling nothing. Emptiness, utter hollowness. 

The dark abyss of my soul overwhelms. 

For there is now nowhere to turn but to Him. 

And there is nowhere else to look, but Up. 

I'm out of excuses. Out of time perhaps. This can't just wait until next month when I feel like smiling, it can't wait until I feel like being social, it can't wait until I'm perfect. It starts now. 

I am a failure, I am human, and I am HIS. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.